Dealing with Grieving and how to help someone with Grief

Hi everyone, 


In the last week, I had some very sad news that someone I knew fairly well had passed away and it came as quite a shock to me, so I thought I would come on here and talk about it from a first hand point of view. 

I want to address this problem as it happens more and more each and lots of people suffer with grieving and everyone deals with it differently. 

From someone who is autistic, I don't deal with sad news very well as I have lost so many people really close to me and I want to give some tips to anyone who is currently going through this. 

It is really important to talk about grieving, it doesn't help to keep it in. I did that for years and years and I struggled so so much which is why I want to try and help anyone who sees this. 


Jake's Tips for anyone who is grieving 

1) make sure you have someone close to you who you trust that you can talk to about how you feel

2) make sure that you have some food and some water so that you don't start to starve yourself or get thirsty

3) if you need to shout, cry, scream, let it out, do not keep it in

4) make sure that you have somewhere you can go to have time to yourself to gather your thoughts 


My recommendations to have when grieving

1) sweets and chocolate really do help

2) anything sweet 

3) lots of tissues for when you feel like you want to cry 

4) make sure you have a mental health worker or a youth worker or a therapist that you can talk to or a parent or guardian

5) a McDonald's makes everything feel so much better 

6) make sure you have comfy clothes to wear because you might feel like that is what you want to wear


Funerals and what to expect

At a funeral, you can expect a lot of different emotions to happen. Quite often, the funeral is the most difficult part of the grieving process because this is where everyone says their last goodbyes to the person who has died. 

Over the funerals that I have been to, I sometimes get emotional, but I find that if you stay with your family, you can hold their hand at the bits that you know could potentially get quite upset over. 

Usually you all gather outside the cemetery service room, you then wait and watch as the hearse approaches. Once the hearse has stopped, the funeral directors will get out the car and open the boot and instruct their colleagues to get the coffin out. 

As this is done, usually it is respectful for everyone to watch in silence. The head funeral director will then give an announcement to head into the service room either before the coffin or after it, this is usually done in silence. 

Once the service has concluded, the curtains in front of the coffin will close, and the funeral directors will direct you out. When you gather outside, the funeral directors will then bring out the flowers from the top of the coffin. 

When you're outside, this is a lovely chance to have a catchup with family you may not have spoken to in a long time and then you're free to go to the wake if that is what the family have decided. 


If you're struggling with grieving or with the funeral process, please do contact someone you trust


many thanks

Jake

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